As the semester comes to a close, I feel it necessary to reflect on my work and this final high school English class of coming-of-age novels. I had previously taken all three other classes that Mr. Mitchell teaches so I came into this class with a lot of expectations of my own and suggestions provided to me by former Uni students. I also had the added stress of battling senioritis throughout the end of my senior year but hopefully this didn't affect my perception of the class too drastically.
Ok, to start with the basics, my favorite book was either Portrait or Black Swan Green. The books are very different but I liked the depth and attention to detail in both. I think they gave rise to our best discussions, too. With Portrait, we got to discuss and explore Stephen's complicated and troubled consciousness as he searched for his artistic identity among the intellectual plebeians that surrounded him in the world. It easy was see the carefully calculated symbolism and peripheral narratives that Joyce nurtured in his novel. Black Swan Green, on the other hand, was a little harder to draw the secondary levels out of. The conversational narration, provided by the young Jason Taylor, and trivial activities of a child make Black Swan Green seem far less grand than Portrait. Still, the depth is there, the reader just has to work harder to parse the meaningful from the mundane. Personally, I think books like Black Swan Green are harder to read than obviously "deep" books.
I would say that I didn't exactly have a least favorite book but I was definitely disappointed with our discussions about Housekeeping. We stayed very surface level and were unable to talk about the most interesting parts of the book, namely tone and metaphor.
I also continued to miss panel presentations. I think that they were a good way to get discussion going and stimulate a discussion above what any of our inexperienced minds could think up on our own. These days were also a good break from daily discussion, to throw a curve-ball in there every once in a while.
My two favorite papers were my reflective response to Catcher, which I adapted into a personal story, and my semester project. My least favorite paper was the revision because I had a very hard time adapting my work after I had turned it in.
Looking past this last semester, I have had the privilege of taking all four classes that Mr. Mitchell teaches. I would say that History as Fiction was my favorite of the four. We read the most challenging books, had an awesome class for discussion, and did the most interesting projects. Although this semester was fun, History as Fiction was my favorite Uni class by far.
Thanks everyone for a great semester!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Images and meaning in the ice cream incident
We started to have an interesting discussion about the motives and meaning behind Benji's destructive act at the end of the "If I Could Pay You Less, I Would" chapter. Personally, I was having difficulties pinpointing an exact motive for Benji's sabotage so I started by trying to identify the results of such an action.
Leaving the freezer doors open during the blackout would allow the hot air into the freezer causing the ice cream to melt. This would make a huge mess for someone to clean up before the shop could function properly again and would be a financial hit for Martine because he would need to buy a new shipment of ice cream. This act could be interpreted as retaliation against the Head Patting Incident, however, Martine has no way of knowing that Benji was the culprit and thus falls flat as a revenge scheme.
Still lacking motive, I moved on to the image Ben creates about how younger Benji thought of the results of his actions. For one, he shows how a small act out leads to graver consequences over time which can be applied to a bigger picture. The open doors lead to the ice cream slowly melting and the cartons crashing to the ground. This could also be a metaphor where Benji's act is an act outside the expectation (stereotype, maybe?) Martine has for him (Benji talks about how trusting Martine is) and the ice cream in the freezer is society's biases that have to be cared for to be maintained. Thus, when Benji acts outside the norm, he tears down the biases imposed on him by society.
In a similar direction, the image portrays Benji in a way, a hard outer shell that keeps two opposites from mixing. His world is about fitting into categories, you have to act black or white. In this scene, he mixes the cold and hot air, which are not supposed to mix. The opposite forces create a hybrid that destroys the ice cream. Keeping the neatly organized freezer as a symbol for socially constructed bias and working on the principle the the hot and cold air represent black and white culture, the implication is that when the two mix, they tear down stereotypes.
However, the result as the carefully separated flavors of ice cream (racial stereotypes) mix is not pretty and uplifting. The final image seems like a perversion of the multiracial mosaic of faces hypothesized by the promoters of the Civil Rights Movement. Instead of a beautiful picture of togetherness and equality, the mixture turns into a massive, useless puddle. Now, I can think of two possible meanings. 1) The nasty puddle is the destruction of stereotypes induced by people affirming their position outside of the norm or 2) it is an omen of cultural homogeneity that comes from "colorblindness". Neither of which provide an inkling as to the motive.
So why does Benji let all the ice cream melt? He just wants to act out. He wants to affect some sort of change and study the reaction. He's just a kid testing boundaries. Young Benji might see some symbolism but not much. Ben, however, clearly presents the metaphor in the child's actions.
Leaving the freezer doors open during the blackout would allow the hot air into the freezer causing the ice cream to melt. This would make a huge mess for someone to clean up before the shop could function properly again and would be a financial hit for Martine because he would need to buy a new shipment of ice cream. This act could be interpreted as retaliation against the Head Patting Incident, however, Martine has no way of knowing that Benji was the culprit and thus falls flat as a revenge scheme.
Still lacking motive, I moved on to the image Ben creates about how younger Benji thought of the results of his actions. For one, he shows how a small act out leads to graver consequences over time which can be applied to a bigger picture. The open doors lead to the ice cream slowly melting and the cartons crashing to the ground. This could also be a metaphor where Benji's act is an act outside the expectation (stereotype, maybe?) Martine has for him (Benji talks about how trusting Martine is) and the ice cream in the freezer is society's biases that have to be cared for to be maintained. Thus, when Benji acts outside the norm, he tears down the biases imposed on him by society.
In a similar direction, the image portrays Benji in a way, a hard outer shell that keeps two opposites from mixing. His world is about fitting into categories, you have to act black or white. In this scene, he mixes the cold and hot air, which are not supposed to mix. The opposite forces create a hybrid that destroys the ice cream. Keeping the neatly organized freezer as a symbol for socially constructed bias and working on the principle the the hot and cold air represent black and white culture, the implication is that when the two mix, they tear down stereotypes.
However, the result as the carefully separated flavors of ice cream (racial stereotypes) mix is not pretty and uplifting. The final image seems like a perversion of the multiracial mosaic of faces hypothesized by the promoters of the Civil Rights Movement. Instead of a beautiful picture of togetherness and equality, the mixture turns into a massive, useless puddle. Now, I can think of two possible meanings. 1) The nasty puddle is the destruction of stereotypes induced by people affirming their position outside of the norm or 2) it is an omen of cultural homogeneity that comes from "colorblindness". Neither of which provide an inkling as to the motive.
So why does Benji let all the ice cream melt? He just wants to act out. He wants to affect some sort of change and study the reaction. He's just a kid testing boundaries. Young Benji might see some symbolism but not much. Ben, however, clearly presents the metaphor in the child's actions.
My summers
Like Benji, I definitely see Summers as a time of growing and change. You get away from the routines and schedules that lock you into one persona during the year and have a chance to explore. You're also separated from those you see everyday in school and are able to make new connections and pass off any major changes you make as a Summer induced process, rather than a conscious change. My summers are full of traditions that help me break up the monotony of school and explore my identity in other contexts.
Summer always starts with a family trip to Kiawah Island off the coast of South Carolina. We've gone for many years and thus witnessed a period of extensive growth and development on the island as more and more tourists find out about the previously hidden gem. Every year I see the same families that go out during the same week every summer. I still do some of the same activities as I did when I was seven but mostly I've made the transition from having a lot of scheduled activities when I was young to having tons of free time now. Joey has also been an addition to my family's Kiawah party.
I also attend Illinois Summer Youth Music camp for their musical theater and choral programs. Here I explore my more outgoing side, struggling to keep up with the raucous theater kids. The social hierarchy at a theater camp is extremely different, as is the vernacular, and social customs. Every year I try to adequately prepare myself and every year I experience a sort of culture shock, induced by the yelling, extreme cussing, mean humor, and touching. The kids are far more confident and outgoing than anyone I had met previously and the environment at ISYM helped me discover a very different part of myself than who I am at school (although the two become more incorporated every year).
Another summer tradition is Camp Tecumseh. It's sort of like 4-H camp, but way better. I can't even explain what it's like to there. It feels like another world. Again, I must suffer through the initial culture shock of camp as my peers excitedly volunteer to get the food for our table and saying prayers before meals. For a week or two, I am truly third and I work to develop my spiritual side in a way that is nearly impossible at home.
Both these camps give me the opportunity to be different that I am at school and they were definitely integral in establishing the self-confidence I now possess. They have taught me to work with people from different backgrounds. The first time someone asked me to define a word I used at Camp T, I thought they were making fun of me and I had used the word wrong. Actually, they just wanted to know. They said that they didn't know all the words I had been using so they finally decided to ask. They next time someone asked me, I was just ready with the answer.
Camp friends are also super important. There are different tiers of camp friends. The lowest is people you sit with at lunch once because you had nowhere else to go. You feel comfortable enough to invite yourself to sit with them but you only have superficial, fake-smiling conversation over the meal. The next level is your besties at camp but you have nothing besides camp to talk about and therefore your friendship dies at closing ceremonies. You may attempt contact later but it is futile. The line between the top two levels is very slight: there are the camp friends you maintain contact with after camp and stay close and the camp friends were you drop your camp persona when you're with them. I have all of the above. I would say that they are all important, especially at Uni, where we need to branch out and meet other people.
During the summer, I also have assorted trips to spas or see relatives and of course I hang out with school friends. I get to ride my horse a lot, which is fun and I practice my instruments more than I can in the school year. I always make a lot of memories in the summer and I am SO PUMPED to start this summer a few days from now. :D
Summer always starts with a family trip to Kiawah Island off the coast of South Carolina. We've gone for many years and thus witnessed a period of extensive growth and development on the island as more and more tourists find out about the previously hidden gem. Every year I see the same families that go out during the same week every summer. I still do some of the same activities as I did when I was seven but mostly I've made the transition from having a lot of scheduled activities when I was young to having tons of free time now. Joey has also been an addition to my family's Kiawah party.
I also attend Illinois Summer Youth Music camp for their musical theater and choral programs. Here I explore my more outgoing side, struggling to keep up with the raucous theater kids. The social hierarchy at a theater camp is extremely different, as is the vernacular, and social customs. Every year I try to adequately prepare myself and every year I experience a sort of culture shock, induced by the yelling, extreme cussing, mean humor, and touching. The kids are far more confident and outgoing than anyone I had met previously and the environment at ISYM helped me discover a very different part of myself than who I am at school (although the two become more incorporated every year).
Another summer tradition is Camp Tecumseh. It's sort of like 4-H camp, but way better. I can't even explain what it's like to there. It feels like another world. Again, I must suffer through the initial culture shock of camp as my peers excitedly volunteer to get the food for our table and saying prayers before meals. For a week or two, I am truly third and I work to develop my spiritual side in a way that is nearly impossible at home.
Both these camps give me the opportunity to be different that I am at school and they were definitely integral in establishing the self-confidence I now possess. They have taught me to work with people from different backgrounds. The first time someone asked me to define a word I used at Camp T, I thought they were making fun of me and I had used the word wrong. Actually, they just wanted to know. They said that they didn't know all the words I had been using so they finally decided to ask. They next time someone asked me, I was just ready with the answer.
Camp friends are also super important. There are different tiers of camp friends. The lowest is people you sit with at lunch once because you had nowhere else to go. You feel comfortable enough to invite yourself to sit with them but you only have superficial, fake-smiling conversation over the meal. The next level is your besties at camp but you have nothing besides camp to talk about and therefore your friendship dies at closing ceremonies. You may attempt contact later but it is futile. The line between the top two levels is very slight: there are the camp friends you maintain contact with after camp and stay close and the camp friends were you drop your camp persona when you're with them. I have all of the above. I would say that they are all important, especially at Uni, where we need to branch out and meet other people.
During the summer, I also have assorted trips to spas or see relatives and of course I hang out with school friends. I get to ride my horse a lot, which is fun and I practice my instruments more than I can in the school year. I always make a lot of memories in the summer and I am SO PUMPED to start this summer a few days from now. :D
Friday, April 19, 2013
"Spring Awakening"
I recently went to the musical Spring Awakening at Krannert. It is a contemporary, rock musical set in Germany in the late 1800s. It is the story of a bunch of teenagers on the brink of adulthood and how they handle the transition. IT's a story of physical abuse, sexual abuse, love, sexuality, school, and death. Much like White Boy Shuffle, it starts out funny, and gets really dark but ultimately has a deep message to take away. The main theme of the show is the danger of ignorance embodied by a class of adults unwilling to spoil their children's innocence.
The show has two central plots and then a bunch of side stories. I'll start with the detours. One includes two boys who discover that while all the other boys fantasize about the mysterious opposite sex, they have feelings for the much more accessible boys. They have to figure out how to tell their crush and live with their different perspective. Even though they end up connecting, they struggle to figure out what to do with their feelings because being gay is nowhere near being on their radar they don't even know it is an option. Another story is that a girl was forced to leave the village in the play when she got pregnant. She joined a gypsy camp, out of fear and rebellion, but soon enough she wanted to come home and have a family. She couldn't though, too much shame. The other significant plots involve physical and sexual abuse of the girls in the show by their fathers.
The central plots involve the three main characters, Wendla Bergmann, Melchior Gabor, and Moritz Stiefel.
Moritz isn't a good student. He's barely getting by and unable to focus due to his mind lusting for things he knows nothing about. Melchior Gabor comes to the rescue. Melchior is a radical free-thinker. He's a star pupil yet a bother to his teachers who don't want his opinion but just for him to regurgitate their ideas. Melchior realizes the confines of what adults will tell him and looks elsewhere for answers. When Moritz asks him for help Melchior tells him all the things he's found out. Moritz is horrified.
Wendla Bergmann is obedient and kind but she wants to know more and her parents won't tell her --not even about how her sister got pregnant. She, Melchior, and Moritz were childhood friends but once they became teenagers and the boys were separated from the girls, they grew apart. Her world is so full of things she doesn't understand until she reconnects with Melchior. She's walking alone outside her village when she sees Melchior under a tree. Not unpredictably, they fall in love and Melchior has an internal battle about whether or not he can burden her with his knowledge. He thought knowing things would make him freer but it also alienates him from his peers.
Meanwhile, Moritz finds out that he has BARELY passed his classes by sneaking into the administrative office and looking at his grades. So he's happy that he's not going to fail out of school and Wendla and Melchior are happy because they actually feel something deep enough to affect them. The act is almost over so things have to start getting dark. After Wendla finds out that her friend is beaten with a belt, she talks to Melchior and tells him she's never felt pain. She rips a switch from a tree and demands he beat her. It's a really horrifying scene to watch but it yanks emotion from both parties and they part full of rage and fear. The story continues to darken when Moritz's teachers fail him, even though he has actually passed, because they feel he is a disgrace. Moritz must return home to tell his father the news.
The act ends with Wendla and Melchior is a hayloft together, Wendla trying to make amends. They kiss and Melchior begins to undress them both. Wendla protests and protests but slowly allows Melchior to go farther and farther. It is hard to tell whether Melchior overpowers Wendla, Wendla consents to his advances, or if she even understands what is happening. In the midst of this scene, the curtain falls.
Act two.
Moritz has been thrown out of his house and after failing to accrue enough wealth to flee to America, is wandering around the streets with a gun, planning to end his life. After an interaction with a childhood friend, he can stand life no matter and kills himself. During an inquiry into his death by school officials, an essay about sex written by Melchior and given to Moritz is found and Melchior is expelled and sent to reform school out of town.
With Melchior gone, it appears that Wendla becomes chronically ill until a doctor tells her mother she is pregnant. After her mother screams at her, Wendla figures out the connection between the hayloft and the baby and writes Melchior a letter. Her mother secretly finds a "doctor" willing to abort the child. When Melchior receives the letter, he escapes boarding school and races to get home to Wendla to marry her. However, shortly after Wendla's doctor's appointment, her mother takes her to the "doctor" who is going to get rid of the child quietly, Wendla completely unaware of the consequences.
After a grueling trip. Melchior returns home in search of Wendla and goes to their meeting place in the cemetery, Moritz's grave. Next to his best friends grave is a fresh plot. He wipes the leaves and dirt off the gravestones and reads the name "Wendla Bergmann". He pulls out a razor from his pocket and holds it to his throat, dreaming of his two friends and the life they could have had. Before he can commit to killing himself, visions of Wendla and Moritz come to him and tell him to continue and help them live on into adulthood and never let their stories be forgotten. He eventually decides to continue on and live his life with them in mind.
It's definitely a harrowing show but I thought the themes are very relevant to our class this semester.
The show has two central plots and then a bunch of side stories. I'll start with the detours. One includes two boys who discover that while all the other boys fantasize about the mysterious opposite sex, they have feelings for the much more accessible boys. They have to figure out how to tell their crush and live with their different perspective. Even though they end up connecting, they struggle to figure out what to do with their feelings because being gay is nowhere near being on their radar they don't even know it is an option. Another story is that a girl was forced to leave the village in the play when she got pregnant. She joined a gypsy camp, out of fear and rebellion, but soon enough she wanted to come home and have a family. She couldn't though, too much shame. The other significant plots involve physical and sexual abuse of the girls in the show by their fathers.
The central plots involve the three main characters, Wendla Bergmann, Melchior Gabor, and Moritz Stiefel.
Moritz isn't a good student. He's barely getting by and unable to focus due to his mind lusting for things he knows nothing about. Melchior Gabor comes to the rescue. Melchior is a radical free-thinker. He's a star pupil yet a bother to his teachers who don't want his opinion but just for him to regurgitate their ideas. Melchior realizes the confines of what adults will tell him and looks elsewhere for answers. When Moritz asks him for help Melchior tells him all the things he's found out. Moritz is horrified.
Wendla Bergmann is obedient and kind but she wants to know more and her parents won't tell her --not even about how her sister got pregnant. She, Melchior, and Moritz were childhood friends but once they became teenagers and the boys were separated from the girls, they grew apart. Her world is so full of things she doesn't understand until she reconnects with Melchior. She's walking alone outside her village when she sees Melchior under a tree. Not unpredictably, they fall in love and Melchior has an internal battle about whether or not he can burden her with his knowledge. He thought knowing things would make him freer but it also alienates him from his peers.
Meanwhile, Moritz finds out that he has BARELY passed his classes by sneaking into the administrative office and looking at his grades. So he's happy that he's not going to fail out of school and Wendla and Melchior are happy because they actually feel something deep enough to affect them. The act is almost over so things have to start getting dark. After Wendla finds out that her friend is beaten with a belt, she talks to Melchior and tells him she's never felt pain. She rips a switch from a tree and demands he beat her. It's a really horrifying scene to watch but it yanks emotion from both parties and they part full of rage and fear. The story continues to darken when Moritz's teachers fail him, even though he has actually passed, because they feel he is a disgrace. Moritz must return home to tell his father the news.
The act ends with Wendla and Melchior is a hayloft together, Wendla trying to make amends. They kiss and Melchior begins to undress them both. Wendla protests and protests but slowly allows Melchior to go farther and farther. It is hard to tell whether Melchior overpowers Wendla, Wendla consents to his advances, or if she even understands what is happening. In the midst of this scene, the curtain falls.
Act two.
Moritz has been thrown out of his house and after failing to accrue enough wealth to flee to America, is wandering around the streets with a gun, planning to end his life. After an interaction with a childhood friend, he can stand life no matter and kills himself. During an inquiry into his death by school officials, an essay about sex written by Melchior and given to Moritz is found and Melchior is expelled and sent to reform school out of town.
With Melchior gone, it appears that Wendla becomes chronically ill until a doctor tells her mother she is pregnant. After her mother screams at her, Wendla figures out the connection between the hayloft and the baby and writes Melchior a letter. Her mother secretly finds a "doctor" willing to abort the child. When Melchior receives the letter, he escapes boarding school and races to get home to Wendla to marry her. However, shortly after Wendla's doctor's appointment, her mother takes her to the "doctor" who is going to get rid of the child quietly, Wendla completely unaware of the consequences.
After a grueling trip. Melchior returns home in search of Wendla and goes to their meeting place in the cemetery, Moritz's grave. Next to his best friends grave is a fresh plot. He wipes the leaves and dirt off the gravestones and reads the name "Wendla Bergmann". He pulls out a razor from his pocket and holds it to his throat, dreaming of his two friends and the life they could have had. Before he can commit to killing himself, visions of Wendla and Moritz come to him and tell him to continue and help them live on into adulthood and never let their stories be forgotten. He eventually decides to continue on and live his life with them in mind.
It's definitely a harrowing show but I thought the themes are very relevant to our class this semester.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
"A poem exists before it is written"
Madame Crommelynck invites Jason to her house to talk about Eliot Bolivar's poetry. In their discussions, they stumble across the definition of beauty and the inception of a poem. Basically, what Crommelynck is saying is that a creation doesn't really count as beautiful if it is made from pretty ingredients. The pretty ingredients trick a casual observer into seeing beauty that is really just a superficial facade. True beauty exists where words fail to exist. Something that is purely beautiful fills in a sentiment or expression that isn't articulate-able.
For me, this is especially true in music, particularly music without words. I find that words often become too cumbersome to express precise things. Also, a lot of the time, words just make music less international and meanings are lost in translation. For the most part, words tend to be the cosmetics used to dress up the music. Really good lyrics add to music in a way that doesn't compromise the independence of the piece but are hard to come by. Words are far more tolerable in poetry written by good poets because poets have no tune to hide behind; they are forced to make a tune with pitchless syllables. Anyway, inspiring music leaves a some sort of paradoxical void full of something that you can't really describe and that thing you can't describe is exactly what Madame Crommelynck is talking about. Words fail but the feeling still exists and a the opus becomes the definition.
I think that the progression of classical musical periods shows this well. Each period is a reaction to the period before. It's sort of like rebellion, yet a bit like an homage, and the contemporary periods always build off the one before. It's hard to express exactly how and why composers choose to do what they do but the music speaks for itself as composers add allusions to their mentors and foreshadow to future themes. Good music both becomes timeless and marks a period of time that is embodied in no other way.
As for the existence of poetry before the pen actually touches the paper, I have to say I am intrigued. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a poet. It'd be cool to have poems descend on me, but for the most part, they steer clear of me. However, I do write a lot of vignettes. They aren't consolidated in any way because I don't really plan them out but they usually just take shape. Initially, I thought I could make the picture in my mind and then save it for later to record but after many lost scenes I just take a second to write them down in the moment. They are something that exists before, in my previous experience or observation, and I have been mulling over in the back of my mind but they don't take shape until I stumble across a context that embodies them.
For me, this is especially true in music, particularly music without words. I find that words often become too cumbersome to express precise things. Also, a lot of the time, words just make music less international and meanings are lost in translation. For the most part, words tend to be the cosmetics used to dress up the music. Really good lyrics add to music in a way that doesn't compromise the independence of the piece but are hard to come by. Words are far more tolerable in poetry written by good poets because poets have no tune to hide behind; they are forced to make a tune with pitchless syllables. Anyway, inspiring music leaves a some sort of paradoxical void full of something that you can't really describe and that thing you can't describe is exactly what Madame Crommelynck is talking about. Words fail but the feeling still exists and a the opus becomes the definition.
I think that the progression of classical musical periods shows this well. Each period is a reaction to the period before. It's sort of like rebellion, yet a bit like an homage, and the contemporary periods always build off the one before. It's hard to express exactly how and why composers choose to do what they do but the music speaks for itself as composers add allusions to their mentors and foreshadow to future themes. Good music both becomes timeless and marks a period of time that is embodied in no other way.
As for the existence of poetry before the pen actually touches the paper, I have to say I am intrigued. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a poet. It'd be cool to have poems descend on me, but for the most part, they steer clear of me. However, I do write a lot of vignettes. They aren't consolidated in any way because I don't really plan them out but they usually just take shape. Initially, I thought I could make the picture in my mind and then save it for later to record but after many lost scenes I just take a second to write them down in the moment. They are something that exists before, in my previous experience or observation, and I have been mulling over in the back of my mind but they don't take shape until I stumble across a context that embodies them.
Waiting
On page 166 of Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping, Ruth says, "I hated waiting. If I had one particular complaint, it was that my life seemed composed entirely of expectation."
This quote definitely resonates with me, as a senior, quickly approaching graduation. I literally don't know where I will be next year and this definitely made me think about how shortsighted teenagers are. Applying for college is like 30% work 70% waiting. First, you wait for common app to open. Then, you wait for the supplements. Then, you wait for the deadlines. Then to do the FAFSA and then acceptances, then aid packages and then May 1. But even after you wait all summer to finally go to college, you're still only in a holding period. College passes quickly and you still haven't found a stable position.
Sometimes the lack of stability annoys me and I just want to fast forward to where I go to the same job everyday and come home to the same people in the same house. The waiting is a little anxious. At times, I just want to know how everything is going to turn out. At this point, things that seem like a big deal will end up having no effect on my life and it's hard to gauge which decisions I make now will have a lasting effect. With all this waiting for all of the work to pay off, it's easy to idealize the stability of adult life.
On the other hand, adult life could seem boringly stagnate. Being with the same people and doing the same work everyday could be just as uncomfortable as not knowing where you'll be in a few months. Stability can be seen as a comfort or a cage.
Maybe this is why Sylvie acts so childishly. She prefers the inconsistency of youth to the constancy of adulthood.
This quote definitely resonates with me, as a senior, quickly approaching graduation. I literally don't know where I will be next year and this definitely made me think about how shortsighted teenagers are. Applying for college is like 30% work 70% waiting. First, you wait for common app to open. Then, you wait for the supplements. Then, you wait for the deadlines. Then to do the FAFSA and then acceptances, then aid packages and then May 1. But even after you wait all summer to finally go to college, you're still only in a holding period. College passes quickly and you still haven't found a stable position.
Sometimes the lack of stability annoys me and I just want to fast forward to where I go to the same job everyday and come home to the same people in the same house. The waiting is a little anxious. At times, I just want to know how everything is going to turn out. At this point, things that seem like a big deal will end up having no effect on my life and it's hard to gauge which decisions I make now will have a lasting effect. With all this waiting for all of the work to pay off, it's easy to idealize the stability of adult life.
On the other hand, adult life could seem boringly stagnate. Being with the same people and doing the same work everyday could be just as uncomfortable as not knowing where you'll be in a few months. Stability can be seen as a comfort or a cage.
Maybe this is why Sylvie acts so childishly. She prefers the inconsistency of youth to the constancy of adulthood.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Closing thoughts on The Bell Jar
Overall, I really enjoyed Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. I just have a few closing points I would like to touch on:
- I thought that our class discussion on the relevance of the title of the book was quite illuminating. The metaphor of Esther's illness being a bell jar is quite apt and precise. For one, she becomes a subject of study due to her illness and unable to hide and is comparable to a specimen under observation in a bell jar. Second, like a bell jar traps what ever is underneath it, Esther's condition traps her in asylums and even inside her own head. Furthermore, she is isolated from others by circumstances that are hard to understand for her loved ones. The glass of a bell jar indisputably exists, however it's transparent so not really distinct for observers like Esther's illness. The part of this metaphor I did not think of was the effect on Esther's perception under the bell jar. The jar distorts her vision and changes the way she sees the world around her. This information is crucial for understanding Plath's narrative voice and Esther's portrayals of the people around her. It nuances so many of the topics we've discussed in class.
- I'm extremely interested to read the note at the end of book for Friday. Unfortunately, I will not be in class on Friday because of a college visit so I will not get to weigh in with the context it provides.
- There aren't that many central male characters in The Bell Jar. The most important men seem to be Buddy Willard and Doctor Gordon, both being representatives of males and medical professionals. Esther is not very nice about either. In fact, I think she says that she hates them both. Esther's intense reservations about men also tie into her reservations about marriage. However, Esther's ideas about medical professionals seem to change with her bond to Doctor Nolan. Unfortunately for guys, this probably just makes her more sure that men are generally pretty bad. It's interesting that despite Esther's concerns about men, marriage, and the expectations of heterosexual relationships, that she reacts so strongly against Joan's proposed homosexuality. Maybe this shows that some social customs still strongly influence Esther...?
- I think that expectations are very central to this novel. It seems that Esther lives for her expectations and they push her in so many directions that she eventually is driven mad by them. The first asylum setting puts a whole new set of expectations onto her. She is supposed to be crazy and badly behaved so she is. Then, she is moved to Doctor Nolan's care and things change. I would say that this is largely tied into the fact that Nolan doesn't seem to have many expectations that she is always throwing at Esther. She merely observes and lets Esther live as she likes. I think that Esther is so reluctant to move up in treatment because she is afraid of the new expectations in the new house. She will have a score of new privileges and Esther isn't eager to cope with the responsibility tied to the privileges. Maybe Esther realizes that the people in the next house are also sane enough to judge and this scares her as well. Other expectations that bother her are kind of a chain: that she will get married--> serve her husband--> give up her career and poetry--> have children--> care for the children --> continue to cook, clean, and serve for the rest of her life. She finds these expectations limiting. I guess you could say that they put her in a bell jar, just like illness, in a way.
- It's amazing how aware Esther always is about her social status. Maybe most of this lucidity can be attributed to the fact that she's writing this novel in retrospect, rather than in the moment. However, I find it intriguing that she continually asses what others think of her. Two striking examples are when she decides not to mope when she moves to the house where Joan is because she doesn't want to give the other tenants the satisfaction and when she doesn't want Irwin to drive her back to the asylum.
- I find a compelling case to argue that Esther's condition is a regressive condition rather than her just spinning wildly out of control. First, it seems to be triggered by her conversations with her boss in New York and her not getting into the summer writing course. These two events stop the forward progress of her life but her fixation on social expectations keeps her on the tracks, so to speak. She simply retreats from the failure. Egocentricity in the form of paranoia, crawling about on the floor/not being allowed out of bed, being constantly cared for, Doctor Nolan as a new mother figure, living at home, etc support a case for regression. Then, as Esther improves, she loses her virginity, the quintessential coming of age/loss of innocence moment and begins again to progress in life.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Two Symbolic Scenes from The Bell Jar
I found the metaphor and imagery used in two scenes in Sylvia Plath's, "The Bell Jar", especially striking. These were the scene where Esther takes a bath after her night out with Doreen and Lenny and the scene where Esther breaks her leg skiing.
In the first scenario, Plath carefully chooses words to evoke an image of a prenatal stage of development that Esther seems to be trying to return to. First of all, she is entirely removed from the hustle and bustle of the city. Then, there is all the talk of being hot and warm and immersing oneself in the bath. The emphasis on purity also draws out the image of a baby. Finally, at the end of her bath, she even says she felt "pure and sweet as a new baby", born out of the bath water.
I think that Plath highlights Esther's desire to be cleansed and pure to show that the scene with Lenny and Doreen wasn't some coming of age moment but a catalyst for regression. Esther also wants to forget what she saw rather than it sparking a revelation or some sort of progressive change within her. Her fixation on purity especially makes me think of a child because she wants to un-see what happened between Lenny and Doreen and regain her innocence.
The second scene is when Esther goes skiing with Buddy. First, like in marriage, Buddy has no prior experience skiing, save him watching others participating. Yet he still acts as an authority and confidently tells Esther what to do. He tells Esther to hang on to the tow rope but gives her an out saying that she should only go half way. Unfortunately for Esther, once moving with the rope, she is unable to let go and peel off from the rope. The tow rope is like her relationship with Buddy, it seemed like a good idea at first --non-binding and all-- but, then, once attached to him, she was unable to free herself. At the end of the rope, Esther finds herself at the top of the ski run. She is faced with a choice, but not a very good one. Her options are:
A) take the plunge and go down the mountain. This option seems to be the logical and generally socially acceptable choice. Here she obeys Buddy.
B) some how get back down another way, like taking off her skis and walking. This option is a bit more frowned upon and awkward.
Option A corresponds to marrying Buddy while option B is her breaking it off with Buddy.
In the end, Esther chooses to ski down the slope but at a physical cost, she breaks her leg. This is parallel to Esther's loss of a career, poetry, and condemnation to serve Buddy should she marry him. Finally, her leg is put in a cast. The cast symbolizes the stagnation of marriage, dependence on Buddy's care, and inhibited mobility caused by marriage.
I really liked both of these scenes because it's fun to figure stuff like that out. The second scene reminded me a bit of the "bank scene" from Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison from last semester too, because it was a very blunt moment of allegory in a novel where the symbolism is often very nuanced.
In the first scenario, Plath carefully chooses words to evoke an image of a prenatal stage of development that Esther seems to be trying to return to. First of all, she is entirely removed from the hustle and bustle of the city. Then, there is all the talk of being hot and warm and immersing oneself in the bath. The emphasis on purity also draws out the image of a baby. Finally, at the end of her bath, she even says she felt "pure and sweet as a new baby", born out of the bath water.
I think that Plath highlights Esther's desire to be cleansed and pure to show that the scene with Lenny and Doreen wasn't some coming of age moment but a catalyst for regression. Esther also wants to forget what she saw rather than it sparking a revelation or some sort of progressive change within her. Her fixation on purity especially makes me think of a child because she wants to un-see what happened between Lenny and Doreen and regain her innocence.
The second scene is when Esther goes skiing with Buddy. First, like in marriage, Buddy has no prior experience skiing, save him watching others participating. Yet he still acts as an authority and confidently tells Esther what to do. He tells Esther to hang on to the tow rope but gives her an out saying that she should only go half way. Unfortunately for Esther, once moving with the rope, she is unable to let go and peel off from the rope. The tow rope is like her relationship with Buddy, it seemed like a good idea at first --non-binding and all-- but, then, once attached to him, she was unable to free herself. At the end of the rope, Esther finds herself at the top of the ski run. She is faced with a choice, but not a very good one. Her options are:
A) take the plunge and go down the mountain. This option seems to be the logical and generally socially acceptable choice. Here she obeys Buddy.
B) some how get back down another way, like taking off her skis and walking. This option is a bit more frowned upon and awkward.
Option A corresponds to marrying Buddy while option B is her breaking it off with Buddy.
In the end, Esther chooses to ski down the slope but at a physical cost, she breaks her leg. This is parallel to Esther's loss of a career, poetry, and condemnation to serve Buddy should she marry him. Finally, her leg is put in a cast. The cast symbolizes the stagnation of marriage, dependence on Buddy's care, and inhibited mobility caused by marriage.
I really liked both of these scenes because it's fun to figure stuff like that out. The second scene reminded me a bit of the "bank scene" from Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison from last semester too, because it was a very blunt moment of allegory in a novel where the symbolism is often very nuanced.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Attempted reaction to Catcher...
Throughout reading J. D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, I found myself with little to say during discussions. Usually, my books from Mr. Mitchell's class are totally marked up and I have a bunch of pages flagged as super significant scenes or topics to write about for papers but for Catcher I rarely wrote anything and have two pages marked. Maybe writing about writing about Catcher will help me figure out exactly how to react to the novel.
I liked the book. Readings were interesting and not taxing to read, especially compared to Portrait. I liked that there was a clear story line and well developed characters. I also liked all the characters or at least the depictions of them. They were interesting people to read about, from Maurice to Mr. Antolini to Ackley to Sally. Holden was funny, too. I definitely found myself laughing along with him throughout the novel but still, day by day the book didn't elicit a significant response from me.
I think one reason I wasn't head over heels for the book, was because I wasn't head over heels for Holden. I definitely liked Holden, but I don't feel oppressed in the same ways as he does and I actually enjoy many of the social customs he despises. Then again, I liked his biting sarcasm because I tend to have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor too. I related in a lot of ways to Holden but he wasn't my favorite protagonist I've ever read about and this book is ALL Holden, from page one until the end, it's just his experiences and opinions. If I had been more emotionally invested in him, I probably would have become more immersed in the book and become more willing to debate about him with my peers.
Especially when I have a whole class of wonderfully smart individuals, I tend to prefer to read novels I wouldn't get as much out of on my own. Portrait, Mumbo Jumbo, Ragtime, Mrs. Dalloway, Invisible Man etc. come to mind however, I think I could read Catcher on my own with great success. The book goes lighter on obscure metaphors and allegories than other books we read and those are the kind of things I like to point out in class and discuss. It's fun to pick a symbol or idea out of a book and realize that many people that read the book completely miss the point you've just discovered. I didn't have as many literary revelations in Catcher as I did in Portrait.
Also, not going to lie, I was SO sad when Holden and Jane didn't get together. I was SO ready for an adorable love story because they seemed super cute and then it didn't happen. Not even close. I was extremely disappointed to say the least. I understand why that wasn't the right move for Salinger but I was still sad.
Anyways, in the end, it was a good book. There were a couple of discussions (although I was sick for a lot of them) and scenes that stood out to me but it wasn't my favorite book ever. It was fun and the versions of the reflective and critical papers I'm doing are cool but Holden's attitude didn't always speak to me, maybe I'm just too nerdy and academically motivated for him... I still wish that Jane would have been more central.
I liked the book. Readings were interesting and not taxing to read, especially compared to Portrait. I liked that there was a clear story line and well developed characters. I also liked all the characters or at least the depictions of them. They were interesting people to read about, from Maurice to Mr. Antolini to Ackley to Sally. Holden was funny, too. I definitely found myself laughing along with him throughout the novel but still, day by day the book didn't elicit a significant response from me.
I think one reason I wasn't head over heels for the book, was because I wasn't head over heels for Holden. I definitely liked Holden, but I don't feel oppressed in the same ways as he does and I actually enjoy many of the social customs he despises. Then again, I liked his biting sarcasm because I tend to have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor too. I related in a lot of ways to Holden but he wasn't my favorite protagonist I've ever read about and this book is ALL Holden, from page one until the end, it's just his experiences and opinions. If I had been more emotionally invested in him, I probably would have become more immersed in the book and become more willing to debate about him with my peers.
Especially when I have a whole class of wonderfully smart individuals, I tend to prefer to read novels I wouldn't get as much out of on my own. Portrait, Mumbo Jumbo, Ragtime, Mrs. Dalloway, Invisible Man etc. come to mind however, I think I could read Catcher on my own with great success. The book goes lighter on obscure metaphors and allegories than other books we read and those are the kind of things I like to point out in class and discuss. It's fun to pick a symbol or idea out of a book and realize that many people that read the book completely miss the point you've just discovered. I didn't have as many literary revelations in Catcher as I did in Portrait.
Also, not going to lie, I was SO sad when Holden and Jane didn't get together. I was SO ready for an adorable love story because they seemed super cute and then it didn't happen. Not even close. I was extremely disappointed to say the least. I understand why that wasn't the right move for Salinger but I was still sad.
Anyways, in the end, it was a good book. There were a couple of discussions (although I was sick for a lot of them) and scenes that stood out to me but it wasn't my favorite book ever. It was fun and the versions of the reflective and critical papers I'm doing are cool but Holden's attitude didn't always speak to me, maybe I'm just too nerdy and academically motivated for him... I still wish that Jane would have been more central.
The Fantasticks
The long weekend before Agora days, I was in New York City with my mom. On Sunday night, I went to an off-Broadway performance of The Fantasticks. It's extremely relevant to this class so I thought I'd write a bit about it.
The Fantasticks is one of the quintessential examples of a coming of age story. First of all, it's short and doesn't need an intricate set or a lot of people so for a long time it was THE show for high schools to do. The plot and characters of the story are suited for a teenage cast as well. The main characters are a boy, Matt, who is about nineteen years old and a girl, Luisa, who is sixteen. There is a narrator, who doubles as "El Gallo" (who I'll talk about in a bit), Luisa's father, Matt's father, two old stunt men, and a mute character who is basically just a part of the set and does "special effects".
The Narrator opens the show with a song about looking back and remembering sweet, happy times of youth and then the story begins. Matt and Luisa are two starry-eyed teens, anxious to do incredible, daring things, like going on adventures and falling madly in love, so they can be like the characters in books they read and be altogether better than normal. Both spend their days reading and dreaming. Oh, and Matt and Luisa are also neighbors, however they are separated by the wall (played by the mute character) that their fathers' built between their two houses because they are "feuding". It turns out that the two fathers are the best of friends and just trying to create intrigue for their children so they will fall in love. Interestingly enough, it works. The kids do fall in love, or so they think, as they sneak around behind their fathers' backs to see each other.
Now a problem arises: how to end the feud? The fathers cook up a plan and call the resident badass/bandit, El Gallo, to assist them. Their plan is to have El Gallo and his stunt men "attack" and try to "kidnap" Luisa but allow Matt to save her. Then, the fathers' will be brought together by the joy of having both kids home safely. It works. After an absolutely wild "kidnap" scene, Matt is victorious and Matt, Luisa, and the two fathers are all happy. However, as they four stand together in their picturesque tableau, dreaming of their future, the mood is tainted by the ominous message the narrator closes the act with. He asks of the audience, how long will their happiness last.
(Coming of age aspects included: falling in love, Matt protecting Luisa. Naivete still present though. More like a children's story than real life and Matt and Luisa have dreamlike expectations for the future.)
Intermission.
In the second act, the starry-eyed lovers become star-crossed lovers. The fathers fight leading to them revealing that the rape scene was staged. Matt and Luisa subsequently fight. The song "The Plum is too Ripe" repeats the line "from scenic to cynic" which aptly describes their situation. All the fighting leads Matt to choose to go see the wild dangerous world and leaves Luisa disillusioned alone at home. Luisa's silence and depression is interrupted when she, smitten with the danger and opportunity the suave El Gallo represents, convinces him to take her to see the beautiful, sparkling world. However, what she see disturbs her but El Gallo gives her a mask that makes the horrors of the world bearable. In her fantasy will El Gallo, he takes her to a variety of places and everywhere she sees this boy being abused (it's Matt but she won't acknowledge it) but her mask makes the abuse less horrific.
Soon, she's ready to be done with the world but she can't and is stuck on the ride with El Gallo. When she finally returns home, she is further disillusioned when she gives El Gallo her mother's necklace as a pledge of her affection and he runs away with it.
At the same time, Matt is returning from his journey, beaten and battered, and reprises the up beat "I Can See It", adapting it into a contrasting movement revealing all the trials he's had. He sees Luisa, crying after her encounter with El Gallo and goes to her. They are cold to each other at first but once they talk for a while, they realize that they want to be together. This time, however, with some sense of the world and a more realistic view on the future. The families joyfully reunite and the Narrator reprises the opening song but not with nostalgia and fancifulness, but with more wisdom.
(In this act, the children lose their innocence and although it is painful, it is necessary for them to lose naivete to be successful in the world.)
Curtain.
Another aspect of the play worth noting is that both stunt men are really old and experienced and serve as the funny men for the show. Also, one of the stunt men specializes in death scenes, heavily satirizing violent and awkward deaths and old age.
The Fantasticks is one of the quintessential examples of a coming of age story. First of all, it's short and doesn't need an intricate set or a lot of people so for a long time it was THE show for high schools to do. The plot and characters of the story are suited for a teenage cast as well. The main characters are a boy, Matt, who is about nineteen years old and a girl, Luisa, who is sixteen. There is a narrator, who doubles as "El Gallo" (who I'll talk about in a bit), Luisa's father, Matt's father, two old stunt men, and a mute character who is basically just a part of the set and does "special effects".
The Narrator opens the show with a song about looking back and remembering sweet, happy times of youth and then the story begins. Matt and Luisa are two starry-eyed teens, anxious to do incredible, daring things, like going on adventures and falling madly in love, so they can be like the characters in books they read and be altogether better than normal. Both spend their days reading and dreaming. Oh, and Matt and Luisa are also neighbors, however they are separated by the wall (played by the mute character) that their fathers' built between their two houses because they are "feuding". It turns out that the two fathers are the best of friends and just trying to create intrigue for their children so they will fall in love. Interestingly enough, it works. The kids do fall in love, or so they think, as they sneak around behind their fathers' backs to see each other.
Now a problem arises: how to end the feud? The fathers cook up a plan and call the resident badass/bandit, El Gallo, to assist them. Their plan is to have El Gallo and his stunt men "attack" and try to "kidnap" Luisa but allow Matt to save her. Then, the fathers' will be brought together by the joy of having both kids home safely. It works. After an absolutely wild "kidnap" scene, Matt is victorious and Matt, Luisa, and the two fathers are all happy. However, as they four stand together in their picturesque tableau, dreaming of their future, the mood is tainted by the ominous message the narrator closes the act with. He asks of the audience, how long will their happiness last.
(Coming of age aspects included: falling in love, Matt protecting Luisa. Naivete still present though. More like a children's story than real life and Matt and Luisa have dreamlike expectations for the future.)
Intermission.
In the second act, the starry-eyed lovers become star-crossed lovers. The fathers fight leading to them revealing that the rape scene was staged. Matt and Luisa subsequently fight. The song "The Plum is too Ripe" repeats the line "from scenic to cynic" which aptly describes their situation. All the fighting leads Matt to choose to go see the wild dangerous world and leaves Luisa disillusioned alone at home. Luisa's silence and depression is interrupted when she, smitten with the danger and opportunity the suave El Gallo represents, convinces him to take her to see the beautiful, sparkling world. However, what she see disturbs her but El Gallo gives her a mask that makes the horrors of the world bearable. In her fantasy will El Gallo, he takes her to a variety of places and everywhere she sees this boy being abused (it's Matt but she won't acknowledge it) but her mask makes the abuse less horrific.
Soon, she's ready to be done with the world but she can't and is stuck on the ride with El Gallo. When she finally returns home, she is further disillusioned when she gives El Gallo her mother's necklace as a pledge of her affection and he runs away with it.
At the same time, Matt is returning from his journey, beaten and battered, and reprises the up beat "I Can See It", adapting it into a contrasting movement revealing all the trials he's had. He sees Luisa, crying after her encounter with El Gallo and goes to her. They are cold to each other at first but once they talk for a while, they realize that they want to be together. This time, however, with some sense of the world and a more realistic view on the future. The families joyfully reunite and the Narrator reprises the opening song but not with nostalgia and fancifulness, but with more wisdom.
(In this act, the children lose their innocence and although it is painful, it is necessary for them to lose naivete to be successful in the world.)
Curtain.
Another aspect of the play worth noting is that both stunt men are really old and experienced and serve as the funny men for the show. Also, one of the stunt men specializes in death scenes, heavily satirizing violent and awkward deaths and old age.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
villanelle!
So, after reading Stephen's villanelle, I decided to take a crack at it. It was a really weird way to write poetry for me because usually when I write, I have a phrase or a stanza that materializes and if I can't get it out of my head, I write it down and finish off the poem. My first attempt was rather weak. Initially, I found the rules restricting and had difficulty defining lines that I would be willing to incessantly repeat. I finished the poem but it was... not good. Frustrated with my failure, I decided to go for round two with the villain. My second poem was far better. After getting the feel for the form from the first try, I was able to use the rhyme scheme and line arrangement to stimulate creativity and ingenuity rather than limit it.
Finally, I wanted to write something I'd be willing to share on the blog. So the subsequent round three was a villanelle about the book. Not the aptest use of this style but interesting none the less...
He could not escape the flames
touch, taste, sight, sound, smell
devoured by guilt and shame.
Why couldn't they remember his name
he could hear the pounding of his own knell
he could not escape the flame.
Innocence falls away non servum desire untame
orgiastic riots of the mind he could not quell
devoured by guilt and shame.
Art stirred within him and their came
a change words rhythmic colored vibrant pastel
he could not escape the flame.
The aim became to gain fame and claim
access to heaven not hell
devoured by guilt and shame.
He tried to do good but all the same
the artist fell
under the prophetic name
devoured by guilt and shame.
Finally, I wanted to write something I'd be willing to share on the blog. So the subsequent round three was a villanelle about the book. Not the aptest use of this style but interesting none the less...
He could not escape the flames
touch, taste, sight, sound, smell
devoured by guilt and shame.
Why couldn't they remember his name
he could hear the pounding of his own knell
he could not escape the flame.
Innocence falls away non servum desire untame
orgiastic riots of the mind he could not quell
devoured by guilt and shame.
Art stirred within him and their came
a change words rhythmic colored vibrant pastel
he could not escape the flame.
The aim became to gain fame and claim
access to heaven not hell
devoured by guilt and shame.
He tried to do good but all the same
the artist fell
under the prophetic name
devoured by guilt and shame.
Father Stephen
I really don't think Stephen would make a bad priest and if he were
going to make it anywhere, the Jesuit order is a good place for him. For
the following reasons:
Stephen likes hierarchy and order and the structure of the Catholic church provides just that for him. There are clearly separated levels of power and carefully defined rights of passage to climb the ladder of the clergy. He doesn't have to awkwardly puzzle over which priests are his superiors in social situations. He will also have someone always giving him directions which seems, up to this point, a comfort for him.
The Jesuits are a highly intellectual order. The theological, methodological, and philosophical debates under discussion by the other Jesuit fathers would be right up Stephen's alley.
Along the same lines, there are books and books of rules about how a priest is to comport himself. No more sneaking around trying desperately to be unnoticed to avoid a social faux pas of sorts. Stephen wouldn't have to worry so much about figuring out where the straight and proper path is because it would be already clearly drawn for him.
The mysterious, semi-secret power of being a priest also seems to allure Stephen to the priesthood. Maybe it's perverting the purpose of a priest a bit but he loves the idea that he gets to know, read, learn, think, and do things normal people can't. Most of all, he is extremely attracted to the prospect of hearing the confessions, particularly of girls. This probably stems from the fact that Stephen wondered a lot when he was little and people explained very little social and sexual escapades to him.
In the end, Stephen rejects the idea, his intrigue stunted by the general anonymity and monotony of the vocation. For me, this just perpetuates the Satanic narrative that periodically pops its head up in this novel. In this case it sheds its subtlety and becomes rather blatant. Stephen rejects the priesthood, even with his special gift of piety, to search for a less common purpose, just as Satan will not serve God and pridefully searches for minions of his own. Faith and piety are surprisingly different from each other and Stephen's situation exemplifies the distinction that Joyce is trying to make.
Stephen likes hierarchy and order and the structure of the Catholic church provides just that for him. There are clearly separated levels of power and carefully defined rights of passage to climb the ladder of the clergy. He doesn't have to awkwardly puzzle over which priests are his superiors in social situations. He will also have someone always giving him directions which seems, up to this point, a comfort for him.
The Jesuits are a highly intellectual order. The theological, methodological, and philosophical debates under discussion by the other Jesuit fathers would be right up Stephen's alley.
Along the same lines, there are books and books of rules about how a priest is to comport himself. No more sneaking around trying desperately to be unnoticed to avoid a social faux pas of sorts. Stephen wouldn't have to worry so much about figuring out where the straight and proper path is because it would be already clearly drawn for him.
The mysterious, semi-secret power of being a priest also seems to allure Stephen to the priesthood. Maybe it's perverting the purpose of a priest a bit but he loves the idea that he gets to know, read, learn, think, and do things normal people can't. Most of all, he is extremely attracted to the prospect of hearing the confessions, particularly of girls. This probably stems from the fact that Stephen wondered a lot when he was little and people explained very little social and sexual escapades to him.
In the end, Stephen rejects the idea, his intrigue stunted by the general anonymity and monotony of the vocation. For me, this just perpetuates the Satanic narrative that periodically pops its head up in this novel. In this case it sheds its subtlety and becomes rather blatant. Stephen rejects the priesthood, even with his special gift of piety, to search for a less common purpose, just as Satan will not serve God and pridefully searches for minions of his own. Faith and piety are surprisingly different from each other and Stephen's situation exemplifies the distinction that Joyce is trying to make.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Voices in his head
We've brought up how malleable and imprint-able Stephen can seem at times so I decided to write a blog post about these influences and their implications.
The earliest influences we see in Stephen's life seem to be his mother, his father, and Dante. These are all pretty understandable influences for a young boy to be under. These are the people he knows best and that know him best. His mother is a big part of his conscientiousness while Dante and his father serve as moral guides. I'd say that these influences are not grounds to call Stephen impressionable. Naive maybe but not impressionable.
Soon after, we see Stephen's peers and teachers creep into being influences. Most memorably, his attempts to go unnoticed to fit in with his peers, then when the priest dubs him as a sneaky slacker, and finally when his peers convince him to go to rector. We discussed in class whether he acts for others or for himself. Stephen even notes his influence-ability on page 88, listing the demands of the people in his life.
God also becomes an influence in Stephen's life. God is basically a punisher in Stephen's mind. Stephen is very scared of the repercussions of defying God and subsequently adopts a strict regimen of self mortification. Later, God is such a big influence in Stephen's life he considers being a priest. Even after he's stepped away from his religious upbringing to pursue art, God plays a huge role in Stephen's thinking and understanding of the world.
Some interesting things about Stephen's relationships with his influences are:
1. Love is almost completely nonexistent between Stephen and his influences, save for with the women. I'd say that Stephen loves his mother. He listens to Dante and his father and teachers and peers and God but when he's sick in the beginning of the novel, he writes a letter to his mother. He wants her comforting most of all. He is also emotional affected by a number of women throughout the course of the novel. Although it is hard to say if this is actually love, there is definitely more of an emotional attachment to these women. They even inspire his art.
Maybe this is a comment on the gender roles he's observed. I feel like this is reflected in the fact that when he starts his first poem he does so by following the rules he's observed from Byron. Which moves toward my next interesting thing, that being how influencable Stephen does seem.
2. In spite of Stephen's intense desire to be unique, I found him surprisingly impressionable. I think why it was so surprising to me is because he was so mature in other ways but he was still to naive to start living his own life. That's totally understandable when you think about how young he is for the first bit of the novel. Little kids don't really know how life works so they watch other people's lives and imitate. It's totally normal. But having these little kid actions next to his big thoughts is a little disorienting. I'm sure it happens a lot. Everywhere in life you will find the small or weak or unsure submitting to the bigger, stronger, or more popular. However it's odd to have the young big thinker being so easily manipulated by the desire to fit in.
PS. Since I'm finishing this post so far after I started I thought I'd add the idea that Stephen's possible vocation is yet another voice in his head calling to him and telling him what to do.
The earliest influences we see in Stephen's life seem to be his mother, his father, and Dante. These are all pretty understandable influences for a young boy to be under. These are the people he knows best and that know him best. His mother is a big part of his conscientiousness while Dante and his father serve as moral guides. I'd say that these influences are not grounds to call Stephen impressionable. Naive maybe but not impressionable.
Soon after, we see Stephen's peers and teachers creep into being influences. Most memorably, his attempts to go unnoticed to fit in with his peers, then when the priest dubs him as a sneaky slacker, and finally when his peers convince him to go to rector. We discussed in class whether he acts for others or for himself. Stephen even notes his influence-ability on page 88, listing the demands of the people in his life.
God also becomes an influence in Stephen's life. God is basically a punisher in Stephen's mind. Stephen is very scared of the repercussions of defying God and subsequently adopts a strict regimen of self mortification. Later, God is such a big influence in Stephen's life he considers being a priest. Even after he's stepped away from his religious upbringing to pursue art, God plays a huge role in Stephen's thinking and understanding of the world.
Some interesting things about Stephen's relationships with his influences are:
1. Love is almost completely nonexistent between Stephen and his influences, save for with the women. I'd say that Stephen loves his mother. He listens to Dante and his father and teachers and peers and God but when he's sick in the beginning of the novel, he writes a letter to his mother. He wants her comforting most of all. He is also emotional affected by a number of women throughout the course of the novel. Although it is hard to say if this is actually love, there is definitely more of an emotional attachment to these women. They even inspire his art.
Maybe this is a comment on the gender roles he's observed. I feel like this is reflected in the fact that when he starts his first poem he does so by following the rules he's observed from Byron. Which moves toward my next interesting thing, that being how influencable Stephen does seem.
2. In spite of Stephen's intense desire to be unique, I found him surprisingly impressionable. I think why it was so surprising to me is because he was so mature in other ways but he was still to naive to start living his own life. That's totally understandable when you think about how young he is for the first bit of the novel. Little kids don't really know how life works so they watch other people's lives and imitate. It's totally normal. But having these little kid actions next to his big thoughts is a little disorienting. I'm sure it happens a lot. Everywhere in life you will find the small or weak or unsure submitting to the bigger, stronger, or more popular. However it's odd to have the young big thinker being so easily manipulated by the desire to fit in.
PS. Since I'm finishing this post so far after I started I thought I'd add the idea that Stephen's possible vocation is yet another voice in his head calling to him and telling him what to do.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Starting at the Beginning
The yesterday in class Mr. Mitchell asked us to contemplate what it
means, in general, in our society, personally etc., to "come of age". I
started my writing with law.
Legally, an individual is no longer a minor after their eighteenth birthday. At that point they can be tried as an adult, sign up to serve in the military, buy cigarettes, and gamble however you still can't rent a car, drink alcohol or even get into bars. It's kind of like a holding period, easing you into adulthood; turning you into a pseudo-adult before you're full fledged. So then maybe 21, is where we should put the marker, but you still can't rent cars from many companies AND if you go to college, you're still in school. This definition quickly gets squishy.
Science is equally unsatisfying. Biologically, we think about starting to become an adult in the teenage years, in the midst of the changes that come with puberty. However, your body continues to change throughout life, never exactly reaching the point where your body is completely "of age".
Socially, popular rights of passage include getting a driver's license, thereby increasing independence, experimentation with drugs and alcohol, and loss of virginity.
However, in class, maybe by virtue of being academically-minded people, we honed in on education as a way of measuring coming-of-age-ness. I would say that as college started becoming more accessible and higher education a normal phenomenon, the process of coming of age in America has become far more convoluted. In a certain time, most kids graduated from high school, got a job, got married, and moved out. It's different now. Now, especially for students like us, college is not abstract it's very real and even expected for some of us. This continuation of schooling prolongs the coming of age process for a great number of years. People can be in grad school for an obscenely long time.
The question soon becomes, "is school a more or less valid way to 'come of age'?" In a way it seems like the more educated person should come more of age, seeing that they spend years and years pondering introspective questions in the safety of schools. However, the case can also made one becomes an adult when they go out into the world and get a job. Also, the degrees that students receive could be considered milestones in aging or immaturely needed pats on the back to motivate students.
It's an interesting debate at whether education facilitates coming of age or is an institution to postpone it but at Uni, it is in many of our futures. Some people didn't like that our discussion was primarily focused on higher education but in a class that is so current and introspective, it only makes sense that we come back to our personal definition of what it is to come of age.
Legally, an individual is no longer a minor after their eighteenth birthday. At that point they can be tried as an adult, sign up to serve in the military, buy cigarettes, and gamble however you still can't rent a car, drink alcohol or even get into bars. It's kind of like a holding period, easing you into adulthood; turning you into a pseudo-adult before you're full fledged. So then maybe 21, is where we should put the marker, but you still can't rent cars from many companies AND if you go to college, you're still in school. This definition quickly gets squishy.
Science is equally unsatisfying. Biologically, we think about starting to become an adult in the teenage years, in the midst of the changes that come with puberty. However, your body continues to change throughout life, never exactly reaching the point where your body is completely "of age".
Socially, popular rights of passage include getting a driver's license, thereby increasing independence, experimentation with drugs and alcohol, and loss of virginity.
However, in class, maybe by virtue of being academically-minded people, we honed in on education as a way of measuring coming-of-age-ness. I would say that as college started becoming more accessible and higher education a normal phenomenon, the process of coming of age in America has become far more convoluted. In a certain time, most kids graduated from high school, got a job, got married, and moved out. It's different now. Now, especially for students like us, college is not abstract it's very real and even expected for some of us. This continuation of schooling prolongs the coming of age process for a great number of years. People can be in grad school for an obscenely long time.
The question soon becomes, "is school a more or less valid way to 'come of age'?" In a way it seems like the more educated person should come more of age, seeing that they spend years and years pondering introspective questions in the safety of schools. However, the case can also made one becomes an adult when they go out into the world and get a job. Also, the degrees that students receive could be considered milestones in aging or immaturely needed pats on the back to motivate students.
It's an interesting debate at whether education facilitates coming of age or is an institution to postpone it but at Uni, it is in many of our futures. Some people didn't like that our discussion was primarily focused on higher education but in a class that is so current and introspective, it only makes sense that we come back to our personal definition of what it is to come of age.
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